stress resilience

A Tool For Finding Comfort in Chaos

by Kelsi Davis, LICSWA

What is a Snapshot practice?

A snapshot is a journaling activity that aims to create or recreate a memory to ground yourself in the present moment. This activity can be utilized when you feel stressed, anxious, or frustrated. It is easy to get wrapped up in these strong emotions and feel stuck with them. The snapshot helps bring your focus to the present and allows time for reflection. This activity is not only grounding but can create a space for self-care.

This journaling activity is named after a quick informal photograph taken to capture a moment in time. Much like its name, this activity is done informally. You can take as little as five minutes or spend a whole hour writing out your snapshot. You can write one every day or write one when emotions are heightened. This is a personal and individualized practice.

How to Make Time?

There are not enough hours in the day to get everything done, and there is often a never-ending list of things to finish, so self-care needs to be intentionally set aside. Let’s set the scene for this journaling activity. Create a workspace that allows you to get into the mindset of self- compassion and emotional flexibility. This may look like deep breaths, going for a walk, yoga, etc.

The goal is to be comfortable in your environment. Be intentional with your time and create a space for yourself to feel. Then you can sit down and start to write or type (I like to put pen to paper). You may listen to music while you reflect or write in silence.

Why do this?

This practice may sound challenging to do when you are in a heightened place of emotion. If this is something that can’t be done in the moment of these heightened emotions, then you can set the intention to write a snapshot when you are in a good headspace. Then you can reflect on a finished journal entry when you are stressed or anxious. I suggest reading it out loud to yourself and using it as a tool to ground. It is like going to a happy place. This “happy place” can be hard to visualize, so writing can help ground your thoughts in a safe space of self-care and understanding. I often struggle to find time to fit this practice into my day. I set an intention to use this practice to remind myself to come back to it when I need it.

This is my guidance: celebrate the small moments. Self-care starts by creating space for yourself. Small things can bring joy, and we can relish in these moments.

What to Write About?

There are three paths (use one or all three!):

  1. Create a new memory. Take a walk, get outside, sit with your feelings, eat your favorite food, and then write about your experience. Again, this practice is personal.

  2. Think back to a memory and write about it in detail to help visualize the memory. An example of this: The first day you got a pet, your wedding day, a childhood memory that sticks out to you.

  3. Reflection: ground yourself in your environment and take time to notice and reflect on something soothing in your current space.

Example One (creating a new memory)

It was cool outside, about forty degrees. It was a quiet evening. There is always something running through my mind as I tend to overthink. Life is always happening around me. My mind, as I write this, is full of day-to-day stressors. As I stand outside, I think about money, bills, and my obligations as a professional, friend, and dysfunctional family member. I think about the never-ending appointments and meetings and responsibility. As I am standing outside, I dig my bare feet into the ground and feel the dirt between my toes. I stare into the sky illuminated by streetlights and breathe in crisp cool air. I often feel like my life is nothing but things that need to be done. I am nothing but a machine. Well, the societal expectation is always to be productive.

It can be hard to enjoy the moments I do have. To stand outside in the cool evening and I ground. I hear cars in the faint background and the pattering of tiny feet from what I can only assume to be a family of raccoons. After some time in the quiet, I sat on the cool, damp grass. I was not thrilled to have gotten my pajama bottoms wet. However, it did not seem to bother me. I just ended up laughing at myself. The goal at this moment was to fully indulge in my natural setting, even when surrounded by the city. Sitting on the damp grass, I felt raindrops hit my face as I gazed into the sky. The cold drips of rain continued to hit my skin, making me feel present in my moment. I created a space where I had no obligations except to care for myself for a few minutes. To be present, to feel one with the world around me, and live in that moment.

Example Two (memory)

It was snowing hard outside. I was visiting my parents for the holidays. A time of year that is honestly hard. I was trying to enjoy the time with my parents, but I needed some time alone and fresh air. I stepped outside. My skin was warm, so it melted quickly when the snowflakes fell on me. I felt calm amidst the chaos of holiday bickering. I walked down the large stairway in front of my parent’s home and looked at the large pine trees in their front yard. The snow glistened. It glowed in the starlight. All I could hear was the snow falling until I heard what sounded like a baby crying. I looked everywhere to find what was making these sounds. I circle the property and return to the front yard, where I had been looking at the trees. I looked down, and I saw a small black and white kitten. His eyes were not open, and he was ice cold but very much alive. I took him in. This moment led to many sleepless nights of caring for this kitten. That was six years ago. One day can change your life, and the day I found Cecil changed mine.

Example Three (reflection)

I have a small plant cohabitating in my small urban apartment. I enjoy watering it and ensuring it gets everything it needs to thrive. It made me think how all people need different things to thrive, just like plants have different needs. Learning what we need and making time to care for ourselves are discussed often in popular media. However, it is often passed over about how to incorporate the practice of self-nourishment into our day-to-day.

Putting this into Practice

As you can see in the three examples, the journaling activity can be long or short. It is a practice to make your own. It can be utilized in the heat of the moment, after a stressful event, in the middle of feeling anxious, on good days or bad days. It is a practice that can be implemented at any time. I have written them on my phone to use while waiting for a doctor’s appointment or for when I’m stressed at work. The key is to return to these snapshots and embrace the emotions presented in the exercise. This activity allows us to remember the small moments and find joy in the mundane or simple. This activity may be best utilized by those who enjoy journaling. However, this may also provide a structure to try a new way to cope with heightened emotions, so I challenge anyone to give it a shot. You might find a new strategy that you love to use!

“To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.” -Jill Bolte Taylor

We have several therapists with openings in their schedules right now. If you’d like to work with a Riverbank therapist, click here to fill out our contact form and our intake coordinator will help you get placed with the best fit!

Coping with Seasonal Depression

What is seasonal depression?

Depression that happens seasonally, of course. Typically, the onset is in the early fall with symptoms worsening throughout the winter months, alleviating in the spring and summer. Seasonal depression, officially called “seasonal affective disorder” tends to be more common in those with preexisting mental health conditions, as well as more common in people who live father from the equator.

Symptoms of seasonal affective disorder mirror major depression. They include: depressed mood, low energy, difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite, feeling irritable or sluggish, difficulty concentrating, hopelessness, feeling unworthy or excessively guilty and having thoughts of death/suicide.

 

What causes seasonal depression?

The causes of seasonal depression are not fully known. However, there are a few factors that have been identified which likely play a role:

  • reduced sunlight in the fall/winter and the time change can upset our internal clock (circadian rhythm). This can impact sleep, which impacts almost everything else, including mood;

  • with less sunlight, there may be a drop in serotonin which negatively impacts depression and mood;

  • darker weather may trigger overproduction of melatonin, creating sleepiness and fatigue;

  • vitamin D deficiency (which can be a cause of depression generally, but worsens when we are exposed to even less sunlight) contributes to depressed mood.

 

There may also be more behavioral or environmental factors:

  • the tendency to be less physically active in fall/winter months;

  • spending less time outside in the fall/winter (we know that nature is highly regulating to a nervous system, so less time outside negatively impacts mood);

  • upcoming holidays (including family stress, uncertainty, grief, etc.) and also the passing of holidays (feeling we built up to something and now are let down that it’s over, disappointment, less to look forward to after the holidays for some).

 

 What helps with seasonal depression?

  • light therapy (phototherapy): lightboxes mimic outdoor light, which may boost serotonin. Exposure to even artificial sunlight at the same time every morning may help reset and regulate our circadian rhythm, stabilizing sleep and therefore mood;

  • medications (antidepressants, specifically SSRIs);

  • vitamin D supplements;

    • *Talk to your doctor about any of the above before starting a course of treatment.

  • Therapy! While the causes of SAD are partially biological, there is also a cognitive, emotiona and behavioral component. Therapy can help make those behavioral and cognitive changes that might help boost mood;

  • body movement and exercise (naturally boosts serotonin levels and boosts mood);

  • social connection;

  • time outside in nature.

 

Do you struggle with seasonal depression? Find out more on the podcast!

6 Steps to Build Stress Resilience

We can build resilience to stress, through daily practices that seem hella boring, but work.

These practices help widen your window of tolerance. They help support your nervous system's capacity to cope. They help raise your threshold for stressful shit. They help you recover more effectively after stressful shit.

SLEEP: have a bedtime routine. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day. Drink bedtime tea. Turn off screens an hour before bed. Use yoga nidra to fall asleep if you're struggling.

WATER: Have a cup near you most of the day. Set reminders to drink a cup every hour.

FOOD: Eat enough and often. Let yourself snack. Release the idea that a "salad" is the only healthy option. Sometimes emotional eating is okay. Be mindful and compassionate with yourself around food.

CONNECT: Call your friends. Text one person daily. Set up virtual hangouts. Reach out, even if you don't know what to say or if you'll get a response. Connection keeps us sane.

MOVEMENT: Find movement that releases stress. This might be exercise. It might be dance, sex, walking, yoga, stretches between meetings, who knows! Find ways to move that feel good.

NATURE: Look out the window for 10 minutes. Check in with your indoor plant friends. Go outside if you can. We are not made for screens. Nature regulates the nervous system.

What helps you build stress resilience? Where do you need some attention?

Want to hear more about stress? Listen to this weeks podcast episode! We'll talk about what stress is, how it impacts your body, how to recognize when stress is present, how to build stress resilience, and tools you can use right now to release stress.

Attachment, Resilience and Trauma

Therapists asking about your childhood is a cliché. But…it’s cliché for a reason.

Your childhood has a massive impact on who you are as an adult. In my work as a trauma therapist, I know that your childhood experiences have a huge impact on stress resilience. People who had childhoods that fostered secure attachments (or adult relationship that facilitate an “earned secure” attachment style) are better able to recover from stress, and less likely to develop PTSD after a traumatic event.

Let’s back up. What do I mean by “attachment”? It basically means the way that you receive soothing and connection with your primary caregiver(s) as a child. The quality of these early attachment relationships to a large extent influence everything about you.

“Attachment is part of a 3-part motivational system of fear–attachment-exploration. Fear triggers attachment behaviors. The safe haven of secure attachment soothes the fear of the amygdala, and opens exploration….Exploration eventually bumps us into something that triggers fear again which shuts down exploration and triggers attachment behaviors again which soothe the fear again and open exploration cycle of safety-exploration again.” -Linda Graham

Because we have a need for regulation, and as a baby haven’t yet developed the structures to do this ourselves, we rely on our primary caregivers to help us regulate. This is what our attachment system does for us. Attuned attachment typically leads to a wider window of tolerance, while misattuned attachment typically leads to a narrower one.

If our early attachment relationships are safe and attuned, we develop the ability to trust, accurately assess fear and regulate emotions. We can move more easily between fear, attachment and exploration. When something stressful happens to a person with secure attachment, their fear/anxiety peaks, and then over time returns to baseline in the window of tolerance. This happens more quickly and easily for those with secure attachments.

However, if our early attachment relationships are injurious or traumatic, then we might get stuck in any part of the fear-attachment-exploration cycle. This depends on how our caregiver(s) responded to us when we sought soothing after fear, or when we craved exploration. We may become more likely to seek attachment in response to fear (anxious attachment style), or seek exploration in response to either fear or attachment (avoidant attachment style), or oscillate between both (disorganized attachment).

This has a huge impact on how we respond to stress.

With an insecure attachment style (anxious, avoidant or disorganized), the peak of anxiety/fear may be higher, last longer, and take more to return to baseline. In addition, that baseline may be higher than those with secure attachment as well—meaning anxiety without stressful events idles closer to the edge of the window of tolerance.

Because our early attachment relationships influence our ordinary stress resilience, they also influence resilience to traumatic stress.

Those with insecure attachment styles are more likely to develop PTSD after a trauma than those with a secure attachment.

[This DOES NOT MEAN that everything is predetermined. Our attachment systems are quite amenable to growth and change, as is our stress tolerance. This is simply more information about how our early childhood experiences shape our adult selves.]

About 20% of people who experience trauma go on to develop PTSD. There is not a ton of research on how to prevent the development of PTSD after trauma, but this information is an interesting piece of that puzzle. If we can help kids have more secure attachments, then it follows that less kids and adults will experience PTSD after a trauma.

(I know, it would be great if trauma just didn't happen...but we don’t have control over that. However…I'd also argue that less interpersonally caused trauma would happen if more of us had secure attachment...but that’s a post for another time.)

Attachment security being a resilience factor supports the theory that relational experiences are necessary for healing trauma: developing more secure attachments in and through therapy will help widen your window of tolerance, support your nervous system in becoming more adaptive and flexible, and provide new healing experiences.

Want to explore this with one of our therapists? Click here to schedule your free 20 minute consultation today!