body scan

Why and How To Reconnect With Your Body

Why get in touch with your body?

What is the point of becoming embodied?

For those of us who tend to live in our heads and feel more comfortable in thinking, connecting with your body might feel pointless. For those of us who have a history of trauma and feel safer disconnected, connecting with your body might feel scary. For those of us who have been doing this disconnection for a long time, it might feel impossible (more on this tomorrow).

So why is it so important? Why are somatic therapies and connection to the body something you see on every other post these days?

It's because it helps (in short).

In long:

Becoming embodied allows deeper communication with yourself. It helps you align with your values, live with intention, and cultivate empathy for others. 

Your body is wise AF. It has data and information that you need to take care of yourself and be taken care of.

When you're disconnected from your body, it has to start screaming for you to pay attention and take care. But when you are more connected, more embodied, you can begin to hear the whispers.

You can hear the quiet conversation inside and respond so it doesn't escalate to screaming. You can get your needs met needs more effectively, because you hear them before they become desperate to get met. You can drink water when you're a little thirsty rather than chug when you're parched. You can soothe anxiety when it's just a trickle, before it becomes a flood of panic.

Meeting your needs builds trust in yourself. You show up for yourself, because you're listening to your whole self.

Not saying this is easy, or comes automatically. Just that it's important, and takes practice.

How do you practice this?

Are you struggling to reconnect with your body?

Do you ask "what am I feeling in my body" and come up with nothing?

You're not alone. This disconnection makes sense. Often, living in our heads and outside of our bodies helps create safety, especially if you have been through a trauma. It makes sense that you don't feel much when you try to sense what is there. You've been protecting yourself from what you might find. Two reminders: 1) You don't have to try this. 2) If you feel ready to, or feel safe enough to create more connection with your body but are struggling, you might try this:

-ask yourself, when/how did/does it serve you to live in your mind? Explore your relationship with your body and what protection the disconnection has given you. Rather than directly trying to feel what's happening in your body, maybe start with thinking about your relationship to your body to build a little more safety with the process.  

-break it down into smaller parts. Notice a specific part of your body rather than asking the question as a whole. "What do I feel in my right shoulder?" rather than "What sensation is in my body?" This can feel less overwhelming.

-create sensation to feel. Squeeze gently up and down your arm, and notice the change after you stop. Do a few jumping jacks, and notice what happens. Pet your dog, drink some water, put on a heating pad, hold an ice cube, and notice what sensations show up there.

Be kind to yourself as you do this. Know that it is a practice, and that connection will ebb and flow. If you begin to feel unsafe, move to something else.

What else helps you connect?

A Love Letter to Meditation (And Mythbusters)

Meditation is not about calming down.

It’s not about clearing your mind. It is not about disconnecting from the world. It is not about relaxing.

It is a practice of just BEING with whatever IS…right now.

Right now is a particularly difficult time to be with what is. Things are scary, overwhelming, downright traumatizing.

So meditation right now is about learning to be with the chaos, sit with the fear, breathe through the uncertainty. Not focusing on making it better or necessarily on feeling better but learning how to feel better. It’s a practice that supports you in learning to tolerate discomfort. It’s a practice of noticing distractions, stressful thoughts, tension in your body, and staying present despite it all.

THIS IS NOT EASY.

I have been meditating almost daily for about 5 years now, and daily for all of 2020. And let me tell you…it is still hard. I still get distracted. I still want to run away internally from discomfort. But you know what? When tension arises in a relationship, or when I get frustrated in traffic, or when a friend is feeling pain…I am way more able to stay present and respond in line with my values. I am less likely to pop off and yell at my husband. I’m less likely to flip the bird at the car tailgating me. I am wayyyy more able to remain calm and regulated when my friend is crying.

It also changes my relationship with myself. Because I meditation when I’m anxious, depressed, angry and fearful, I know what that feels like in my body. I am learning to recognize what those thoughts sound like, and the subtle precursors to emotional changes. This is helpful in preventing deep depressive episodes. It helps me recognize my anxiety earlier and take action to soothe myself. Meditation allows space to get curious about my internal experience, rather than judging, which lets me take more effective action when I need to take care of myself.

In short, meditation helps me get comfortably uncomfortable with pain and discomfort, so that I can sit with it without running away.

Meditation is legit one of the cornerstone skills of my well-being.

I’m not saying it’s the answer to everything, because it certainly isn’t. But it is in my top 5 list of skills to support mental health. (If you’re curious, the others are: exercise/movement, getting good sleep, getting enough nutrition, spending time with other humans.)

Because world events are so scary right now, I find myself valuing my meditation practice more. It’s supporting me in being able to stay present and within my window of tolerance (maybe just for a few more minutes a day) during this trauma.

Again, this isn’t about being calm. It’s about learning to sit with discomfort.

One of my favorite ways to practice this while meditation is with ITCHINESS.

My nose itches.

My back itches.

My head itches.

Don’t scratch. (I know.)

Watch the itch arise, intensify, and fall away. Sit with it and notice how you can actually tolerate how itchy it is. How it goes away. Or you get distracted by a thought and by the time you remember you were itchy, it’s gone, or somewhere else. Notice how things change.

This is how you operationalize “sitting with discomfort”. You find a way to practice. Meditation is a great field for this.

So I recorded a few meditations for you.

The first is a general mindfulness meditation. This can be done sitting, laying down, walking, moving. Eyes open or closed. Modify the practice as needed to suit you.

The second is a meditation to help you connect with your body. Again, modify as needed.

Click here to get these meditations!

I hope these can support you somehow during this time. Take care of yourself. I’m here with ya.

-Toni